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date: 20 October 2021


  1. He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare,
    And he who has one enemy will meet him everywhere.
    Ali ibn-Abi-Talib c.602–661 Arab ruler, fourth Islamic caliph: A Hundred Sayings
  2. Almost all of our relationships begin and most of them continue as forms of mutual exploitation, a mental or physical barter, to be terminated when one or both parties run out of goods.
    W. H. Auden 1907–73 English poet: The Dyer's Hand (1963) ‘Hic et Ille’
  3. In necessary things, unity; in doubtful things, liberty; in all things, charity.
    Richard Baxter 1615–91 English divine: motto
  4. Am I my brother's keeper?
    The Bible (Authorized Version, 1611): Genesis ch. 4, v. 9
  5. Love is like the wild rose-briar;
    Friendship like the holly-tree:
    The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms,
    But which will bloom most constantly?
    Emily Brontë 1818–48 English novelist and poet: ‘Love and Friendship’ (1846)
  6. Love, friendship, respect do not unite people as much as common hatred for something.
    Anton Chekhov 1860–1904 Russian dramatist and short-story writer: Notebooks (1921)
  7. It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous, that you realize just how much you love them.
    Agatha Christie 1890–1976 English writer of detective fiction: An Autobiography (1977)
  8. Men love women
    Women love children
    Children love hamsters
    And hamsters don't love anyone.
    Alice Thomas Ellis 1932–2005 English novelist: attributed, in Times 14 February 1987
  9. Somewhere on a hill facing the sea, there is a very beautiful ancient stone, and it’s not going anywhere. It will be there, waiting for me.
    Tracey Emin 1963–  English artist: in the Art Newspaper 22 March 2016
  10. I will not…sulk about having no boyfriend, but develop inner poise and authority and sense of self as woman of substance, complete without boyfriend, as best way to obtain boyfriend.
    Helen Fielding 1958–  English writer: Bridget Jones's Diary (1996)
  11. Personal relations are the important thing for ever and ever, and not this outer life of telegrams and anger.
    E. M. Forster 1879–1970 English novelist: Howards End (1910) ch. 19
  12. It is easier to live through someone else than to become complete yourself.
    Betty Friedan 1921–2006 American feminist: The Feminine Mystique (1963) ch. 14
  13. The soul is not where it lives, but where it loves.
    Thomas Fuller 1654–1734 English writer and physician: Gnomologia (1732) no. 4761
  14. When we take people, thou wouldst say, merely as they are, we make them worse; when we treat them as if they were what they should be, we improve them as far as they can be improved.
    sometimes quoted as ‘Treat a man as he is, and that is what he remains. Treat a man as he can be, and that is what he becomes’
    Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 1749–1832 German poet, novelist, and dramatist: Wilhelm Meisters Lehrjare (1795–6) bk. 8, ch. 4, tr. Thomas Carlyle
  15. When you marry your mistress you create a job vacancy.
    marrying Lady Annabel Birley in 1978
    James Goldsmith 1933–97 British financier and politician: G. Wansell Tycoon (1987)
  16. In human relations kindness and lies are worth a thousand truths.
    Graham Greene 1904–91 English novelist: The Heart of the Matter (1948) bk. 1, pt. 2, ch. 4
  17. Their relationship consisted
    In discussing if it existed.
    Thom Gunn 1929–2004 English poet: ‘Jamesian’ (1992)
  18. Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.
    Henry James 1843–1916 American novelist: in 1902; Leon Edel Henry James: A Life vol. 5 (1972)
  19. What a child doesn't receive, he can seldom later give.
    P. D. James 1920–2014 English writer of detective stories: Time to Be in Earnest (1999)
  20. The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
    Carl Gustav Jung 1875–1961 Swiss psychologist: Modern Man in Search of a Soul (1933)
  21. If one does not understand a person, one tends to regard him as a fool.
    Carl Gustav Jung 1875–1961 Swiss psychologist: Mysterium Coniunctionis (1963) vol. 3 ‘The Personification of Opposites’ sect. 147
  22. It is easier to know man in general than to know one man in particular.
    Duc de la Rochefoucauld 1613–80 French moralist: Maxims (1678) no. 436
  23. We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it.
    John Lennon 1940–80 English pop singer and songwriter: television interview, 30 December 1969
  24. Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing;
    Only a signal shown and a distant voice in the darkness;
    So on the ocean of life we pass and speak one another,
    Only a look and a voice; then darkness again and a silence.
    Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 1807–82 American poet: Tales of a Wayside Inn pt. 3 (1874) ‘The Theologian's Tale: Elizabeth’ pt. 4
  25. Difficilis facilis, iucundus acerbus es idem:
    Nec tecum possum vivere nec sine te.
    Difficult or easy, pleasant or bitter, you are the same you: I cannot live with you—or without you.
    Martial c.ad 40–c.104 Roman epigrammatist, born in Spain: Epigrammata bk. 12, no. 46(47)
  26. If I am pressed to say why I loved him, I feel it can only be explained by replying: ‘Because it was he; because it was me.’
    of his friend Étienne de la Boétie
    Montaigne 1533–92 French moralist and essayist: Essays (1580, ed. M. Rat, 1958) bk. 1, ch. 28
  27. There is no substitute for the comfort supplied by the utterly taken-for-granted relationship.
    Iris Murdoch 1919–99 English novelist: A Severed Head (1961)
  28. I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life, particularly if he has income and she is pattable.
    Ogden Nash 1902–71 American humorist: ‘I Do, I Will, I Have’ (1949)
  29. The time to make up your mind about people is never.
    The Philadelphia Story 1940 film: spoken by Katharine Hepburn as Tracy Lord; written by Donald Ogden Stewart (1894–1980), from the play by Philip Barry
  30. I hold this to be the highest task for a bond between two people: that each protects the solitude of the other.
    Rainer Maria Rilke 1875–1926 German poet: letter to Paula Modersohn-Becker, 12 February 1902, in Gesammelte Briefe (1904) vol. 1
  31. It is not flesh and blood, but the heart which makes us fathers and sons.
    Friedrich von Schiller 1759–1805 German dramatist and poet: The Robbers (1781) act 1, sc. 1
  32. Love and sex can go together and sex and unlove can go together and love and unsex can go together. But personal love and personal sex is bad.
    Andy Warhol 1927–87 American artist: Philosophy of Andy Warhol (From A to B and Back Again) (1975)