W. S. Gilbert 1836–1911
English writer of comic and satirical verse 

1. Of that there is no manner of doubt—
   No probable, possible shadow of doubt—
   No possible doubt whatever.
   
    
   The Gondoliers (1889) act 1
2. When every one is somebodee,
   Then no one's anybody.
   
    
   The Gondoliers (1889) act 2
3. The Law is the true embodiment
   Of everything that's excellent.
   It has no kind of fault or flaw,
   And I, my Lords, embody the Law.
   
    
   Iolanthe (1882) act 1
4. I often think it's comical
   How Nature always does contrive
   That every boy and every gal,
   That's born into the world alive,
   Is either a little Liberal,
   Or else a little Conservative!
   
    
   Iolanthe (1882) act 2
5. When in that House MPs divide,
   If they've a brain and cerebellum too,
   They have to leave that brain outside,
   And vote just as their leaders tell 'em to.
   
    
   Iolanthe (1882) act 2
6. The House of Peers, throughout the war,
   Did nothing in particular,
   And did it very well.
   
    
   Iolanthe (1882) act 2
7. When you're lying awake with a dismal headache, and repose is taboo'd by anxiety,
   I conceive you may use any language you choose to indulge in, without impropriety.
   
    
   Iolanthe (1882) act 2
8. A wandering minstrel I—
   A thing of shreds and patches.
   Of ballads, songs and snatches,
   And dreamy lullaby!
   
    
   The Mikado (1885) act 1; see Shakespeare
9. I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule. Consequently, my family pride is something in-conceivable. I can't help it. I was born sneering.
   The Mikado (1885) act 1
10. As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
    I've got a little list—I've got a little list
    Of society offenders who might well be under ground
    And who never would be missed—who never would be missed!
    
     
    The Mikado (1885) act 1
11. The idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone,
    All centuries but this, and every country but his own.
    
     
    The Mikado (1885) act 1
12. Three little maids from school are we.
    
     
    The Mikado (1885) act 1
13. Modified rapture!
    
     
    The Mikado (1885) act 1
14. Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,
    From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block.
    
     
    The Mikado (1885) act 1
15. My object all sublime
    I shall achieve in time—
    To let the punishment fit the crime—
    The punishment fit the crime.
    
     
    The Mikado (1885) act 2
16. I have a left shoulder-blade that is a miracle of loveliness. People come miles to see it. My right elbow has a fascination that few can resist.
    The Mikado (1885) act 2
17. Something lingering, with boiling oil in it, I fancy.
    The Mikado (1885) act 2
18. Merely corroborative detail, intended to give artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative.
    The Mikado (1885) act 2
19. The flowers that bloom in the spring,
    Tra la,
    Have nothing to do with the case.
    
     
    The Mikado (1885) act 2
20. On a tree by a river a little tom-tit
    Sang ‘Willow, titwillow, titwillow!’
    
     
    The Mikado (1885) act 2
21. There's a fascination frantic
    In a ruin that's romantic;
    Do you think you are sufficiently decayed?
    
     
    The Mikado (1885) act 2
22. If you're anxious for to shine in the high aesthetic line as a man of culture rare.
    
     
    Patience (1881) act 1
23. The meaning doesn't matter if it's only idle chatter of a transcendental kind.
    
     
    Patience (1881) act 1
24. If you walk down Piccadilly with a poppy or a lily in your medieval hand.
    
     
    Patience (1881) act 1
25. A greenery-yallery, Grosvenor Gallery,
    Foot-in-the-grave young man!
    
     
    Patience (1881) act 2
26. What, never?
    No, never!
    What, never?
    Hardly ever!
    
     
    HMS Pinafore (1878) act 1
27. Though ‘Bother it’ I may
    Occasionally say,
    I never use a big, big D—
    
     
    HMS Pinafore (1878) act 1
28. And so do his sisters, and his cousins and his aunts!
    
     
    HMS Pinafore (1878) act 1
29. I always voted at my party's call,
    And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.
    
     
    HMS Pinafore (1878) act 1
30. Stick close to your desks and never go to sea,
    And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navee!
    
     
    HMS Pinafore (1878) act 1
31. For he himself has said it,
    And it's greatly to his credit,
    That he is an Englishman!
    
     
    HMS Pinafore (1878) act 2
32. But in spite of all temptations
    To belong to other nations,
    He remains an Englishman!
    
     
    HMS Pinafore (1878) act 2
33. It is, it is a glorious thing
    To be a Pirate King.
    
     
    The Pirates of Penzance (1879) act 1
34. I'm very good at integral and differential calculus,
    I know the scientific names of beings animalculous;
    In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
    I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
    
     
    The Pirates of Penzance (1879) act 1
35. When constabulary duty's to be done,
    A policeman's lot is not a happy one.
    
     
    The Pirates of Penzance (1879) act 2
36. Man is Nature's sole mistake!
    
     
    Princess Ida (1884) act 2
37. You must stir it and stump it,
    And blow your own trumpet,
    Or trust me, you haven't a chance.
    
     
    Ruddigore (1887) act 1
38. Some word that teems with hidden meaning—like Basingstoke.
    Ruddigore (1887) act 2
39. This particularly rapid, unintelligible patter
    Isn't generally heard, and if it is it doesn't matter.
    
     
    Ruddigore (1887) act 2
40. She may very well pass for forty-three
    In the dusk with a light behind her!
    
     
    Trial by Jury (1875)
41. Sir, Saturday morning, although recurring at regular and well-foreseen intervals, always seems to take this railway by surprise.
    letter to the station-master at Baker Street, on the Metropolitan line; John Julius Norwich Christmas Crackers (1980)