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date: 19 September 2024

P. G. Wodehouse 1881–1975
English writer; an American citizen from 1955. See also Doyle 

  1. Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first, and if it rings solid, don't hesitate. All the unhappy marriages come from the husbands having brains.
    The Adventures of Sally (1920)
  2. It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.
    Blandings Castle and Elsewhere (1935) ‘The Custody of the Pumpkin’
  3. Golf…is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.
    The Clicking of Cuthbert (1922)
  4. He spoke with a certain what-is-it in his voice, and I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
    The Code of the Woosters (1938) ch. 1
  5. Slice him where you like, a hellhound is always a hellhound.
    The Code of the Woosters (1938) ch. 1
  6. It is no use telling me that there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.
    The Code of the Woosters (1938) ch. 2
  7. To my daughter Leonora without whose never-failing sympathy and encouragement this book would have been finished in half the time.
    The Heart of a Goof (1926) dedication
  8. I turned to Aunt Agatha, whose demeanour was now rather like that of one who, picking daisies on the railway, has just caught the down express in the small of the back.
    The Inimitable Jeeves (1923) ch. 4
  9. It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
    The Man Upstairs (1914) title story; see Hubbard
  10. He trusted neither of them as far as he could spit, and he was a poor spitter, lacking both distance and control.
    Money in the Bank (1946)
  11. The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
    Mr Mulliner Speaking (1929)
  12. The Right Hon. was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say ‘When!’
    Very Good, Jeeves (1930) ‘Jeeves and the Impending Doom’