- Life! Don’t talk to me about life.
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (BBC radio, 1978), Marvin the Paranoid Android 1952–2001 English science fiction writer:
- If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
St Louis Post-Dispatch 1 November 1989 1930– English writer: in
- I feel that life is—is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
Annie Hall (1977 film, with Marshall Brickman) 1935– American film director, writer, and actor:
- Life doesn’t imitate art. It imitates bad television.
Husbands and Wives (1992 film) 1935– American film director, writer, and actor:
- Life is a sexually transmitted disease.: graffito found on the London Underground
- Nothing matters very much and very few things matter at all.
Book: discreet memoirs (1931) 1848–1930 British Conservative statesman: Clodagh Anson
- Life, you know, is rather like opening a tin of sardines. We are all of us looking for the key.
Beyond the Fringe (1961 revue) ‘Take a Pew’ 1934– English dramatist and actor:
- Brought up in the provinces in the forties and fifties one learned early the valuable lesson that life is generally something that happens elsewhere.
Talking Heads (1988) 1934– English dramatist and actor: introduction to
- There are things you just can’t do in life. You can’t beat the phone company, you can’t make a waiter see you until he’s ready to see you, and you can’t go home again.
The Last Continent (1989) 1951– American travel writer:
- There’s always somebody about to ruin your day, if not your life.
Pulp (1994) 1920–94 German-born American writer:
- It's a funny old world—a man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
You're Telling Me (1934 film); spoken by W. C. Fieldsand screenwriters:
Auntie Mame's view:Life is a banquet, and some poor suckers are starving to death.
Auntie Mame (1956) 1921–76 American writer:
- I find I always have to write something on a steamed mirror.
Quotations for Our Time (1977) 1921–2008 American writer: attributed; Laurence J. Peter
- Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving. 1879–1955 German-born theoretical physicist: letter to his son Eduard, 5 February 1930
- All men are equal—all men, that is to say, who possess umbrellas.
Howard's End (1910) 1879–1970 English novelist:
- Just when you’ve squared up to the solemn realization that life is a bitch, it turns round and does something nice, just to confuse you.
The Better Mousetrap (2008) 1961– English novelist:
- Life is just one damned thing after another.
Philistine December 1909 (often attributed to Frank Ward O'Malley) 1859–1915 American writer: in
- Most of one’s life…is one prolonged effort to prevent oneself thinking.
Mortal Coils 1922 1894–1963 English novelist:
- Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?
Mary, Mary (performed 1961) 1923–2003 American writer:
- Life doesn’t wait to be asked: it comes grinning in, sits down uninvited and helps itself to bread and cheese, and comments uninhibitedly on the decorations. 1922–85 English poet: letter, 25 May 1958
- Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
Metropolitan Life (1978) 1950– American writer:
- For the happiest life, days should be rigorously planned, nights left open to chance.
Complete Neurotic's Notebook (1981) 1913–83 American writer:
- The living are the dead on holiday.
Before the Great Silence (1935) 1862–1949 Belgian poet, dramatist, and essayist:
- There’s one thing to be said for inviting trouble: it generally accepts.
Reader's Digest September 1976: attributed, in
- Laugh it off, laugh it off; it's all part of life's rich pageant.
The Games Mistress (recorded monologue, 1937) 1910–89 British journalist and former schoolmaster:
- Whenever I investigate a smell, I find that the answer is always bad. It's never: ‘What is that? [sniff] muffins’! 1973– American comedian: attributed
- It's not true that life is one damn thing after another—it's one damn thing over and over. 1892–1950 American poet: letter to Arthur Davison Ficke, 24 October 1930
- There are three ingredients in the good life: learning, earning, and yearning.
Parnassus on Wheels (1917) 1890–1957 American writer:
- Today’s tears are tomorrow’s yawn.
Times 7 February 2013 1949– British journalist: in
- There are few things in this world more reassuring than an unhappy lottery winner.
Mirror2 November 1998 1953– English writer: in
- You're born naked and the rest is drag. 1960– American drag queen: attributed, 1990s
- I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far.
Last of the Red Hot Lovers (1970) 1927– American dramatist:
- Life itself is a universally fatal sexually transmitted disease.
Follies and Fallacies in Medicine (1990) 1940–94and :
- Life is a gamble at terrible odds—if it was a bet, you wouldn't take it.
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead (1967) 1937– British dramatist:
- Oh, isn't life a terrible thing, thank God?
Under Milk Wood (1954) 1914–53 Welsh poet:
- We're all in this together—by ourselves. 1939– American comedienne and actress: attributed
- What a queer thing Life is! So unlike anything else, don't you know, if you see what I mean.
My Man Jeeves (1919) 1881–1975 English-born writer: